A Film Commentary on Christmas with Love
.. in the style of Drew Gregory’s “I Got High and Watched Tello’s A Holiday I Do” published on autostraddle.
i selected to watch christmas with love on amazon video. it was recommended to me by amazon along with a bunch of other queer shit. say what you will about algorithms and ai, in this moment all i feel is yay my algorithm gets me.
the film opens with jaunty christmas music and the empire state building in the background. we’re in bryant park, right near the office of the job i quit two weeks ago. cute. i love new york at christmas ugh. this is the same setting from something from tiffany’s, another christmas movie. it’s gold, i’ll watch it over and over and love it every time.
now we’re on broadway! this main character is making it!! she’s singing about a coffee shop and feeling perky. i think it’s an homage to friends? now they’re all holding mugs. i’m focusing on their hands, taking notes for my improv object work.
this song is too long. should i be paying more attention to the lyrics?
she’s singing that she likes her coffee like she likes her men? why can’t we have gay things!?
title screen!
ooo hot nb with piercing blue eyes! this is sam. they look so soft and also like i would do anything they told me to. they’re hosting something at this bar i think. peep tello sticker on laptop.
two bff moms are talking about their kids dating. “nothing like high school love” one of them says. omg their kids are high school sweethearts who broke up and the moms are conspiring to get them back together. i love this so much let’s go.
i’ve decided the moms were also hs lovers
sam was hosting trivia. they say their ex is off doing what she’s meant to and they’re happy for her as a friend. looks like they’re the small town feel less than type.
back at home — which is naturally brimming with framed phrases about kindness and humility and “farm sweet farm” — sam finds out becca, their ex the broadway girl, is coming home for christmas and they’ll spend it together with their bff moms. sam announces they’re better than ever with judy, their new boo. brother makes a wise crack suggesting judy is never around.
”lucille and i [the moms] are so looking forward to christmas because..”
a. this year they’re gonna tell their families they’re in love, have been for years, and will no longer tolerate being kept apart
b. they can’t wait to rewatch the happiest season
c. they’re social liberals who love unfettered spending on material goods
d. broadway girl becca’s coming home for christmas
back on broadway becca gets a standing ovation and goodbye. she gets to sing one last song and uses it to promote a song off her upcoming christmas album. the chorus is “merry and gay” over and over. yes girl that’s what i’m talkin bout.
gay gay gay did i mention i’m gay and i don’t mean happy tho i am merry too
we learn that becca had a breakup with another broadway actor. becca looks lonely at the top. cue soft piano. she goes home to drink wine and gaze at the city skyline.
sam rushes to their mom’s house to respond to an urgent text and finds the two moms and becca waiting for teatime. sam is pissed. sam pulls their mom aside and yells about it. their mom tells them basically to get over themself and be pleasant. sam returns to tea with feigned idgaf energy. this posture is everything. they’re so pissy. becca and sam are gonna work together on a local christmas production. becca says it feels really good to see sam. she touches their arm and sam shakes it off. sam tries to walk off and walks into a chair. classic.
i’m hot and mad. hey becca, why don’t you call your next song mad and gay?
sam tries to shirk off the christmas show on their dad or some bartender person idk. i was heating up my bolognese. this dude also tells sam to get over themself and just run the show. sam says ain’t no thang, becca’s just my childhood best friend. no one is buying that. oh! judy just entered the scene and they kiss! a gay kiss early in the movie yay! sam noodle arms the kiss but whatever.
what are arms? where do i put them??
judy says sam is obviously in love with becca and that sam shouldn’t let their thing get in the way. woah communication. sam says they’re on different paths. is this shakespeare?
becca is learning how to run the christmas variety show with the previous showrunner who is either a dolly parton look alike or i’m just really taken by her southern accent and big hair. this bolognese is so good wow i’m so proud of myself for making it. here, you can too. sam shows up in a sherpa lined black denim jacket because of course. these two look soo distant.
becca goes to an open mic at sam’s bar. they share a long lingering sumptuous stare. becca performs one of her songs while someone signs the lyrics. sam looks on lovingly as becca sings her chorus again, “merry and gay”. we see someone sign every lyric but merry and gay. homophobic.
there’s this whole b story about the brother liking a girl. i’m not really paying attention to it tbh.
we learn some backstory: becca and sam haven’t spoken in three years since becca left town for broadway. sam stopped taking becca’s calls and ignored her texts or gave them a thumbs up. harsh. then one day sam texted becca “i’m dating judy now just thought you should know”. cringe.
sam is driving becca home. they talk like two little shy people that are super into each other and pretending not to be. becca says she wants to spend real time with sam and clear stuff up. sam says to leave the past in the past, saying they’re asking her as a friend. becca touches sam’s shoulder and sam’s eyes go goo goo.
why are all houses white and dark brown inside now? is this the jo and chip gaines effect?
the moms are staging some sort of set up and planning from the inside of an suv with walk talkies and a little gay helper. the moms voiceover their plan as we start to see it unfold. it’s scored with almost looney tunes sounding music? the one with the roadrunner. it’s quite fun.
sam and becca are flirting over christmas decorations. now they’re talking about judy “as friends” i’m so sure. becca says she misses talking to sam. sam apologizes for avoiding becca when she came back. they flirt more over a reindeer dance. aw now sam is holding becca. because they’re friends lol. it’s so cute i’m loving it.
platonic lovers
more b plot and then ding dong sam’s at the door with an enormous wreath! they seem like friends now cutee. ugh they have chemistry and it’s sweet!! they’re bumping into each other sitting beside the table with these shit eating grins they keep trying to hide. ugh i can’t.
OMG THERES A BUTTERFLY MURAL IS IT THE BUTTERFLY MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT DID A PROMOTION IN FRONT OF FOR LOVER???
slay bells ring
becca is singing and dancing down the street broadway style. am i bad gay if i’m not super into it? it’s just not sensual. if you’re gonna dance make it sensual.
becca and sam string lights on a tree and they’re like really bad at it. but now they’re standing in front of the tree with their arms around each other while also leaving room for jesus and despite that it’s still cutie. i keep saying that cause it just is!
becca finds a playbill from her first starring role in a box of sam’s old things. sam runs away. becca chases them down and sam reveals they went to see the show. but becca never knew! it’s giving the notebook. why didn’t you text or see me after the show? why didn’t you write me??? it’s not shakespeare — it’s the gay notebook! sam says they saw becca on broadway and knew that’s where becca’s meant to be but that they’re just a small town bar owner.
omg now they’re in front of this big white house yelling about how they missed each other. it literally is the notebook. “i missed you every day!” becca tells sam.
baby please don’t marry james marsden
ahhhh sam says they never stopped loving becca and then they kiss with their faces blocking out the sun. it’s just a perfect little gay rom com and we haven’t even reached the end!!
this summer the supreme court sanctioned discrimination against lgbtq people but hey at least these two are kissing on screen
becca’s evil hollywood manager comes into town. i can tell she’s evil because of the sinister music. the manager and sam brawl. with their eyes and then their words. becca needs to decide her next career move and her agent wants her to move away for theater. becca is putting off making a decision.
sam is sulking. becca says she’s not going to la. her heart wants to stay in this town. sam says they don’t want to be the reason becca gives up on her dreams. oh these two!!
becca says no to la and sam is still sulking. i’m getting annoyed by this whole wounded animal vibe. they fight and sam says they don’t fit into becca’s life and tells becca to go to la. becca says they don’t wanna be with someone who so easily gives up on ‘us’.
now sam is punching a boxing machine. there are three completely empty pool tables behind them. where are the dykes shooting pool? i thought this was a gay movie.
rage against the machine
ok the b story makes sense now. the brother tells sam they helped him be brave and take a risk by telling a girl he likes her. he tells sam they’re letting fear get in the way of love. aha! sam realizes they’re the one who pushed becca away and it’s up to them to fix it.
sam is suddenly completely clear headed looking for becca who’s nowhere to be found. it turns out she’s headed to the airport. are we gonna get a gay kiss at the airport scene?? no, we’re not. sam can’t go get their girl because the variety show is about to start. which i thought becca was in because ya know, she’s on broadway! but i guess not cause she’s now at the airport. maybe sam was right about becca and she is ‘too good’ for this small town.
the variety show opens with an emily dickinson poem lol. the final act is supposed to be a nativity scene. but wait! becca appears right before the nativity scene. sam, it’s go time!
i can be a theater gay too becca!!!
sam does some fruity little reindeer dance from when they were kids on stage in front of everyone. it was not even remotely a hot set up but the reward of a cheering audience for their big conflict resolution kiss pays off. they’re in love again and share kisses! woah it ends abruptly after that. i want one of those one year later clips or something. let us bask in this love a little longer please!